Autobiography of a Computer

Welcome, how may I help you? Tell me, or rather command me and once commanded, I can store up gazillions of words and characters in my memory. Such teeny meany bits won’t acquire much gigs of my space. But now, I am going to analyze my memory, through the stages of my life. So, sit back and enjoy as I unravel my story from Pascal to PowerPoint…

I was born very fat, Charlie (Babbage), my dad (as I called him) was very fond of me and knew every nook and corner of me. A beep and a bop and lo behold, I was at life. They used some very fat tubes to power me, but now I’ve become potable and manageable! Anyways, let

s continue…

Soon I met one of Charlie’s friends, Lady Ada Lovelace, who gave me my first name - Ada. But that’s not my name now, I’ve got plenty of them - Tux, Windows, Lion, Tiger (of course all fine creations of Uncle Steve).

As I grew up, I travelled to various laboratories, one such was Bell Laboratories, where I got another software (I prefer calling it name) - LINUX/UNIX. That was a very lengthy name as I resorted to call myself Tux (after that penguin, of course). Then, I went to IBM and then I met Uncle Steve, who gave me a very delicious name - Apple, but the only conflict between me and him was that he ate some part of it and then brought me genus Panthera, giving me names of pesky, wildcats…

And then, came my best friend, Bill, who started a company called Microsoft. He launched my new name - Windows. Funny name, I thought but then I opened my windows to various parts of the world, connecting people. And who helped me? WWW, one of my most valuable friends.

But slowly and steadily, the youngsters are catching up and I’ve been left behind. I feel very lonely as I’ve got very less masters to serve and my previous masters have resorted to some weird electronic called smartphones! They have got some brains in them.

And then, this war has begun. WWW’s boss, Larry has started/launched some funny guy - Android. But he’s jolly sweet. Kit-Kat, Marshmallow, Lollipop, oh! He’s going to crash me someday.

Even worse is Uncle Steve’s marvel (for you all), iPhone! This ruddy thing also has usurped my throne of supremacy.

“Though the phones are gold studded,

Old is gold,

My concept will soon get outdated and shredded,

ERROR 404”

An Open Letter to Trailer Makers

Dear Trailer Makers,

Do bear in mind that this comes from a movie and television buff that has grown up worshiping your franchise.

Google defines “trailers” as a series of extracts from a film or broadcast, used for advancing publicity.

We all know that the inception of a blockbuster lies in an engrossing trailer. If we glance at trailers from yesteryear films, they gripped us to the end, scratching our brains to crack the enigmatic code the movie withheld. Thanks to advancements in the media, these short extracts can be made more exciting than ever.

The sole purpose of this letter is to highlight the lack of creativity; and predictability that your trailers possess. They don’t give us the much needed adrenaline fillip now. Such is the sorry situation that even an amateur at storytelling can decipher the plot of the movie in seconds. Wit and directorial craft have taken a backseat. Something is wrong, isn’t it?

Another major problem with your trailers is a veritable fiasco of dialogues, which are as cliche and comical as a children’s book. Do try to at least showcase the finesse of the writers.

The audience waits eagerly for a particular movie to hit the theaters. A cinematic treat awaits us at the movies but courtesy of your trailer, YouTube suffices for some.

This is neither a hate-letter nor a bouquet of rage; these are just suggestions to set up a better stage!

With all due respect, kindly preview the trailer before pressing the upload button and see if your piece of art does justice to the movie.

Regards
A movie buff.